Skip to content

Monday Musings: Flatpack furniture and accidental crucifixion



I built a bookcase yesterday.

I feel good about that, probably more so because it was much, much easier than previous attempts. The key, in this instance was that these shelves were not bound by any sides which of course meant that I didn’t have to twist my wrists too much or use the smallest, weakest screwdriver ever invented to be able to get into said fixing.

Now perhaps I’ve been buying the wrong kind of flat pack furniture in the past, but every one of them wanted the outer frame created first (lulling me into a false state of security) then put the internal shelving in place, wherein my lack of triple jointedness signalled my downfall.

  • Malformed screws pitched at a 45 degree angle to the shelf.
  • Wooden dowlings that were literally square and couldn’t fit into the round hole.
  • Splits down the wood as the nail or screw splintered a non existent hole.
  • Flesh and blood left as knuckles scraped against the wood grain.

The person who bought my flat years ago probably still has my dried blood inside the bedside chest of drawers I built.

It really was so simple and painless, and I think I may seek this type of configuration for all my furniture needs in the future. Not sure how viable it will be for drawers and beds, but if nothing else it probably adds some feng something or other to the room. Or perhaps thats because there won’t be any screams of profanity polluting the harmony in the room.

As a side note, I did mention to Kate that this was momentous because we didn’t fight when we built this bookcase. Of course she did explain that was probably because I did what I was told.

I now believe I have a foolproof formula for building flatpack furniture.

Published inThe Smorgasbord